New Year 2018: Of Living and Loving Well

Happy New Year! Live well, love well, love life.

It has become a tradition: I welcomed the New Year in KL in the company of our extended family. We prepared our dinner feast and Media Noche of salad, seafood and steak (for the boys), played games until we toasted champagne to welcome 2018 and hugged each other good night.

I opened 2018 in a simple way: with my partner, our family and friends and good sleep. It’s a simple but perfect way to usher in the New Year. 

The night before New Year’s Eve, I was with Arshad in Private Room, a wine and whiskey bar that has become our default place here in KL. We had a long day of traveling and running errands and we wanted to just hang back a little bit and chill.

As we sat at the bar, we bantered the night away by looking back and reflecting on what we learned in the year that just passed.

2017 was not a smooth year for me, but it wasn’t terrible either. It had its share of rough and tumble, but I would still count it as a milestone year wherein I achieved a lot of things and scored high in terms of accomplishing goals.

But that’s the thing that 2017 taught me: Life is not just about scoring high. Living life to the fullest doesn’t just mean ticking off checkboxes of things to do, milestones to meet, successes to accomplish. 

I ticked off a generous amount of targets in 2017 when I went through my list, but I also realized that although this made me successful in the way that I defined success in 2017, the whole journey also weighed me down.

I went through depression in the latter part of the year. I went through this despite my accomplishments and the good life that I have been living. Looking back now, I realized that I went through it because I pushed myself too hard, much to my own detriment.

Year in, year out, I always set the bar higher. I did well in 2015, I should do better in 2016, 2017…and on and on and on.

But until how much can I take? A new year will not add more hours in a day. It will not extend my energy, my time and my attention.

I became more cognizant of my finite resources, so to speak, and I learned that it’s not a bad thing.

Adding to my bucket list will make the bucket full to the brim, until it just couldn’t take anymore. The bucket needs to be emptied out again at some point.

Achieving, making goals, listing down targets: they’re not a bad thing. However, there are also certain things that need to be done:

Spend some time to rest and recharge. Slow down. Reflect. Sleep. Breathe. Find the little joys of everyday living. 

With all the goals we list down, it helps to ask ourselves: in the end, after checking all the boxes, are we a better person? Are we a better person to ourselves and to others?

This 2018, I still have my bucket list and my goals, but it’s no longer about exceeding and over-achieving. It’s about valuing what’s important and nurturing them. It’s about being a better person by being kinder to myself and to others.

To all of us,  may we usher the New Year with renewed hope and with fire in our hearts. May we be kinder to each other. May we be more generous. May we live more by loving more and judging less. 

Less hatred, more love. I fervently hope we see this happen this 2018.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Live well, love well, love life.

Monday musings: Of Contemplation and Mindfulness

Monday musings_Contemplation_Bella Expatria

The consequence of a well-traveled life (not that I’m complaining) is very limited time for contemplation and mindfulness.

This entire month of December, I will be spending the weekend traveling. My weekdays, too, have been spent flying in and out for work. Just last week, I had to fly out twice in a span of 5 days for work.

Amidst the frenzy, everything needs to be deliberate. Planning, organizing, even moments to just sit down and think.

I like ending every year in moments of contemplation: to stop and think about how my year has gone and what I should be doing and preparing for in the year to come. Much as I would like to have peaceful moments when I can just sit down in solitude on my window sill, armed with a hot mug of brew, this scenario will remain a fantasy.

Seven days before Christmas, two weeks before the new year. Despite the craziness at work, I intend to stick to the plan. Some moments spent in silence to look back and reflect. Some moments of solitude to draw the game plan for next year.

I urge you to do the same, as it worked wonders for me for the past years. Right smack in the midst of our busy lives, there is always value in reflection.